So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
