I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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