I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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