help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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