i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
