I just threw up on my dentist
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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