i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so let's talk penis.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
