Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Found your dick twin last night
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
