just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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