you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
