I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
