At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
