if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Duck Duck Cougar?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
