I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Nicole vs. Life
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize