I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
