He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
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