did you get engaged???
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
