so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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