i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
