I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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