I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
