Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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