There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
