I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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