yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This house was built for laser tag.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
