Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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