these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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