So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize