What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
