Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
