Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
