i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
