is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
