He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
