just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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