okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
