You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
