I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
