Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
