I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
