i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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