Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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