just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
