Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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