Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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