So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Pants are for mortals
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
