i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
