another moral hangover. fuck.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
