whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
