it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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