You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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