ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
