the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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