How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize