Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
