I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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