I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
there is glitter all over my balls
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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