so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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