Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize