apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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