I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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