Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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