Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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