Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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