I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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